Complicated Me...

This world is very busy, it doesn’t have time for others, but do we have time for ourselves?? Actually, when I thought of same, I felt there r many things on my mind, I can’t even concentrate on a single of it. It has turned into some kind of ‘fish market’, as my English teacher used to say.. Neither I can find, what I am doing, nor I know what I wanna do.. If I try find out what’s problem or where I m messed up, I find myself more tied up into this spider’s web, and there seems no way out…
From last few days this problem continued to bundle up things over me.. As those close to me know I wanna do every thing I come across.. Most of them craziest.. I wanna go left but also right at same time, wanna study n read novels, wanna watch movies but also play, wanna chat with friends, wanna learn dance, also how to play Guitar, all in mere 24hrs that I have.. I cant explain, what in fact I want, but all these things are up here.. in my mind.. I don’t know it’s empty or filled up with crap?? But it don’t allow me to settle down.. Always calling out ‘do this, do that’.. Can’t it rest??
I cant think of a single day, when I can say I had done all I wanted to do.. But thinking about it, I also feel, what will be fun, if I have done everything or rather, if I didn’t try everything, I might have missed out some excitement.. Some time I feel like measuring what value me most.. But I end up doing what’s everyone is doing.. I thought that I m following other’s, but that’s what make me go diverse, isn’t it??
I don’t wanna flow with river, but I know I wont survive against it, or its because I m afraid of it?? Had I given up before I had started?? Was there more I can do, before expecting in one go??? I want to think I didn’t just follow the motion, but I can’t even lie to myself. I know I had taken decisions, which I know wont harm me. But will they help me?? I told u earlier na, I m totally messed up..
Today I thought a lot, what I m?? What I m making out of my life?? Did I have taken my decisions right?? Had I thought as much as I require before deciding where to move on?? After a wasting a lot of time, I end up thinking, its all had been in the past.. Leave it.. There’s more to come, I need to catch up to improve my future.. But God wanna me to know something.. That day I meet two of my friends, and some how v end up discussing same (why v r here??) and in finally nutshell we thought ‘its for learning more’…
Finally, I considered what kind of person I m.. I end up evaluation “I might not be GOOD, but I m not BAD too”.. I will stand for my friends when ever they need me.. I m happy that, I have too many friends, most whom I can rely on…In past few weeks I have written too much but didn’t post a single one.. may b In coming day I will post few of them… but I wanna post this one as someone might help me come out of my mind trap…